October 22, 2007
~ Randomly...
The best thing about alcohol is that it makes you feel warm and fuzzy and sleepy. The worst thing about it is that, most of the time, you drink outside. That translates to (by the fastest) a taxi ride home and then, a shower after that. Which means you are not likely to just go home and plonk on the bed and slip into deep sleep - which is exactly what I feel like doing now. Not very likely. Unless you are just very drunk and basically, had to be brought home instead of opening the doors by yourself.
A short term effect of alcohol is that it makes you feel warm inside but if you are in a really cold place, like a hotel - which was where I was at earlier - the temperature difference makes you shiver unwittingly. And that's not a very nice feeling. 'Cos it makes you feel farking lonely. Tried to hug myself with my shawl wrapped all around me. But you know what would really help?
What would really help is someone to hold your hand, rub your hands and just hold you close. Nothing beats the warmth of being close to another human. Which, of course, is just what I did not have, do not have. So, that was just farkin lonely.
I like drinking because it makes me so sleepy that I feel I could sleep away everything that I try not to think about all the time. But I don't like drinking because it makes me feel sad and lonely and basically, I don't know what to think about anything and of anything, anymore. I can't even find enough energy to pretend I know.
xxx
I'm tired..
Everything, my dear. Everything.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 00:37